Sixty-one Months

That's the amount of time that the person who killed Shane will have to spend in jail. Kenneth Clark pleaded guilty yesterday to vehicular homicide. The maximum jail sentence the law allows in cases of vehicular homicide is sixty-one months.

I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling about this.

On one hand, I'm glad the judge saw that Kenneth Clark had a record a mile long of drug offenses and other things. I'm ecstatic that he saw fit to give this man the maximum sentence. I'm happy for Zoe, the boys and all of Shane's friends that this is now "over". It's been a long time coming.

On the other hand, I'm PISSED that he only gets sixty-one months. Think about it Internet. That's only five years. And since he's already served a year and some months of this sentence, (because it's taken THAT long for this to be completed) he truly gets out in a little over three years.

FOR KILLING SOMEONE. When on meth. While driving. Without a license. And insurance.

When given a blood test to check the amount of alcohol and drugs in his blood, it was shown that he had .71 milligrams of meth in his blood stream.

Now, Shane's boys have to grow up without a father. The amount of time Kenneth Clark spends in jail for homicide, is a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of time Shane's boys will be without their dad.

I'm struggling with this.

Three people stood and spoke on Zoe and Shane's behalf. The first was Shane's training officer who spoke about training Shane in the Forest Service law enforcement field. He spoke about Shane's integrity as an officer and how he was such a great communicator.

The next person to speak was Shane's friend Troy. When Troy spoke, you heard a little more rage behind his words. He spoke about his loss and the huge loss to Shane's sons. He spoke about having a birthday three days before Shane's and having to call Zoe for the second time to wish Zoe happy birthday for Shane. He spoke about wanting the ordeal of all of the court proceedings to be over. That Zoe needed it to be over because she was so tired.

The last person to speak on behalf of Shane, was Zoe herself. She spoke of missing Shane so much that it was almost unbearable. She spoke of the picture she has in her mind of him bleeding to death for hours and wondering what he might be thinking. She spoke of their boys, their nightly prayers to Daddy in heaven and Kye's terror of crossing the yellow line when Zoe has to make a left hand turn across traffic. She spoke of their boys growing up with out Shane.

The judge asked if anyone was there to speak on behalf of Kenneth Clark. And, although there were probably six or eight people in the court room supporting him, not one of them got up to speak for him. Kenneth Clark did speak on his own behalf, though. He talked about being "sorry that the wreck happened" and that he "has been addicted to methamphetamines for twenty years" and that he "hopes that because he pleading guilty to the charges, the family will find some peace" and "the wreck didn't happen because he was high, it happened because he was too tired and shouldn't have been driving".

The judge then had a turn at talking. He spoke about the laws not being great and that things like this happen every day in his court room. He spoke about the responsibilty of each of us getting out there to change the laws so this doesn't happen to anyone else. He then started talking about the sentencing and what the law allows. Ed and I both thought that he was going to give Kenneth Clark the minimum sentence of forty-six months because that's what the prosecution recommended (to get a plea bargain it turns out). But he didn't. He talked about the victim impact statements, (Over one hundred of them) and even held them up to show that he'd spent the better part of the afternoon the day before reading every single one. He mentioned that he felt like he knew Shane, Zoe and their boys. But he didn't just give the minimum. The judge saw that Kenneth Clark really didn't care and saw fit to give him the maximum sentence allowed by the law.

Ed and I sat right behind three of the supporters of Kenneth Clark. One must have been his daughter. She cried through the entire court proceeding and when they took him out shackled in handcuffs and leg chains, he smiled at her.

This also gives me some cause for thought. I have been so focused on the pain that our group of friends has been feeling about losing our friend in such a violent way, and feeling so angry that this person slipped through the justice systems cracks, that I never stopped to think about if Kenneth Clark had any family and what THEY must be feeling. In a way, they have a loss too. Their loss isn't nearly as permanent as the loss that Shane's family and friends feel, but it's a loss nonetheless. I don't know the history of what kind of father Kenneth Clark has been... I know that he's been addicted to meth for twenty years, so I wonder how that's affected his family.

But, right now, I am still too angry to even process that part. And frankly, right now, I don't care much about Kenneth Clark. Or his family. Even though they are victims of his choices as well.

Right now, I can be content knowing that, at least, for sixty-one months, Kenneth Clark will endure jail and the loss of most freedoms. Hopefully, for sixty-one months, thoughts of that night will permeate his every day. Hopefully, for sixty-one months, his stay in jail will be miserable.

Right now, that much I can do.