I'm Going to Heaven...

Since my mom and sister decided to dessert me this week and go to Blue Lake, I "offered" to take my grandpa to his doctor's appointment yesterday. I was being the good daughter and really did want to help my mom and grandpa out. However, there's always one problem. Grandma gets to go as well. I LOVE my grandparents. I do. But, my grandpa has GOT to be a saint already from living with her for sixty plus years. I don't know how he does it. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

My spring break started with a phone call on Saturday from my grandpa wanting to give me the "directions" to the office in Northgate that we were supposed to go to. I told grandpa I only needed to have the address to input into Zev (the GPS). He was sure that I needed ALL of the directions and tried really hard to give them to me, but, I had to INSIST that I ONLY needed the address. Ed and I go off to our other plans for the weekend (which I'll post about later).

Monday, I get a phone call from Grandma saying that the V.A. office had given Papa misinformation and needed to send him to a different office. Near the airport. At 3:30. PM. Crap. OK. So, I accept this info and know that Zev will get us there fine. I am NOT going to stab the nearest sharp thing into my eye out of frustration.

Grandma calls Tuesday morning to tell me that the office just called and they needed to cancel Papa's appointment because the doctor had a family emergency and needed to leave. Hooray! I am off the hook!

Not so fast, another phone call about 45 minutes later resulted in the appointment back on. With another doctor. At 3:30. Near the airport. Did I say at 3:30?

So in order to "center" myself for this I decide to go and get the manicure/pedicure that I've been meaning to get for a long time. After a lovely hour, I go and get some lunch and head to my grandparent's house. I get there early (15 minutes) and am sitting in the car trying to get those blasted flip-flops off and my shoes on so I don't have to walk through the wet grass to their house.

They must have been waiting and watching. Because no sooner had I arrived, they came out of the house all ready to go.

Me: We don't have to go yet... It's not going to take us an hour and 45 minutes to get there.

Them: That's OK... We just don't know what traffic will be like.

Me: It's not going to be an hour and 45 minutes bad.

Them: Well we thought that we might have trouble finding it. (translation: we don't trust Zev)

Me: The GPS will get us there with no problem! No worries. (Translation: I don't want to have to sit and make conversation with Grandma for 45 minutes because Papa won't be able to hear anything.)

I put the address in Zev and we were off. My grandma talked non-stop for entire time it took to drive there. I learned way too much information about my grandparents that no granddaughter should EVER know. *shivers*

The office was not hard to find, as I'd predicted, and they were amazed that we went right to it. However, we were there 45 minutes early.

Ugh.

Again, I have to make small talk with my grandma while we wait for Papa to be called. I started reading a magazine, only half listening to her as she kept asking me questions about the people in the magazine.

Her: I wonder what ever really happened to Kanye West's mom.

Me: That's not Kanye West.

Her: Yes it is.

Me: Grandma, that's 50 Cent.

Her: I don't know who 50 Cents is.

Me: Grandma, it's 50 CENT. Not Cents.

Her: Oh. Did something happen to his mom?

I did some large mental eye rolling. The ladies behind the counter were cracking up.

Finally Papa was called back to see the doctor and now I'm left sitting in the waiting room with Grandma.

Her: It's so nice that Sal has a friend. Kyle is such a nice boy.

Me: Do you mean Tate? The kid who lives across the street from Mom?

Her: No, that's Kyle. He was at your mom's for Easter dinner.

Me: Grandma, his name is Tate and he wasn't at Easter dinner. There was no one but family at Easter dinner.

Her: No, he came late.

Me: Grandma, that was Ed.

Her: No, I'm sure that he was there.

Me: Grandma, I will bet you $300 that TATE was not at Easter dinner at Mom's house. Why would Tate be at Easter dinner at SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE when he has his own family?

Her: I'm sure...

Lady at the desk: Are you guys alright over there? (translation: Is there something wrong with that old lady?)

Grandma dropped it, which really surprised me because once she latches on to something she's like a pit bull and doesn't let go of it. She HAS to be right. The other thing that killed me is that she told me that she was glad that Papa was seeing a woman doctor because they are more caring and would make sure that she would write things down that he'd to remember. Because HE doesn't remember so well anymore...

WHAT??!?!?!?!?

I'm all, Lady, were you not just part of the conversation that we just had about a fictional friend of Sal's whose name you couldn't remember and INSISTED that he was at EASTER dinner with a family who was not his own????

Deep breaths.

I have to say that I was happy that I took my grandpa to the doctor. He really appreciated it. He even asked how he could ever repay me. It made me feel bad that I was impatient with my grandma. She's old. She just wants to be part of my life.

But, I better be going to heaven for this...