Butt Crack Capitol of the World

We have a local bar in Snoqualmie called Smokey Joe's. This fine establishment has been around since my parents were in high school. My dad frequented this place when he was younger and full of piss and vinegar (and not at all deaf or tired) and still will once in awhile. We got my mom to go in there once during Snoqualmie Days about 12 years ago. I have to say that that was the first time I'd seen my mom in a bar. I also have to say that it was the last...

Smokey Joe's is not the most beautiful bar... It's really not even very clean. There's a stuffed and dusty coyote on the ceiling in there and lots of various old time logging tools hanging all over the place. Last night, we saw that the ceiling had been adorned with the most gigantic bra I have ever seen. (A beatutiful addition that hadn't been there the night before.) There is even a rumor that a rat fell out of the ceiling and into the fryer back in the "kitchen". (I think that it's not even a rumor because there is now a piece of corrugated tin in the ceiling over where the fryer used to be... )

But the thing that I believe Smokey Joe's is now famous for is butt crack. Now, this butt crack is not the plumber kind. That's "working class" butt crack and you always have to expect some crack when you have a guy under your sink trying to fix something that you've "f-ed" up or crawling around under your house trying to find the gas line. Those guys tend to be rather rotund and they have to buy pants that fit up over their bellies. The consequence of buying pants this big is that they then bag out over their non-existant butts. Thus, we have the working class butt crack.

No, my friends, this butt crack phenomenon is becoming more and more common among the 20-something crowd. I think that it's become a badge of honor with this crowd to see how much crack they can show with out actually being naked.

We usually see the not so elusive butt crack on girls who have the desire to wear pants or skirts so low or short that they might as well be wearing just a belt instead of the skirt or pair of pants they actually have on. The boys can also have this butt crack syndrome, however, their butt crack show is much more subtle. The boys tend to wear their pants belted around the middle of their asses so that their boxer shorts are hanging out of the top. It's a fashion statement! But, then they sit, and inevitably the pants drag the boxers down and then you get to see the long expanse of butt crack and usually hairy butt.

At Smokey Joe's they have a row of bar stools along the bar and a row of booths on the opposite wall. It's always more comfortable to sit in the booths even though they slant toward the wall and if you are wearing anything slippery, you find yourself crammed against the wall like a carnival ride from the people sitting on the outside sliding into you. I've decided that sitting at the bar is much more palatable if you are not at all interested in seeing the butt crack of your neighbors and friends. However, if you are anything like me, and are drawn to the butt crack animal, you have contests to see how many butt cracks are in attendance at any one time. In the last two nights (yes, I've been at Smokey Joe's the last two nights), I've seen the butt cracks of 7 individuals all of whom were under the age of 25. And once, last November, I thought that I was going to see the butt crack of what I thought was a pretty cute boy. He sat down at the bar and I got the surprise of my life. No, there was not a butt crack to be seen anywhere on this boy. I got to see the almost extinct "man thong" hanging out of the back of his pants. I actually was a camera sniper and took a picture of this phenomenon.

I had to have proof, right? I mean, who would have believed me?