We had to euthanize our dog last November. She was our first "charge" together... this tiny, fat thing who had more interest in us than her 10 brothers and sisters did. She moved into our house 3 weeks after we did and stayed for almost 13 years.
You don't realize how much they permeate your life. She was in every part of it. She went camping with us, on the boat with us, to get ice cream and to Christmas at "Munka's" h0use. She loved our nieces and nephews and treated them as her own brood. We were her everything and she was our love. She slept next to me in her bed in our room from day one, and, on very many occasions, she would go to bed without us when we stayed up too late for her.
When our friends found out what happened to Jessie, they did the greatest thing. They found a local guy who does sand blasting on stone and bought us a gift certificate to have a stone made in her memory. We finally got it in place at her burial spot after she'd been gone 12 weeks.
We miss her so much. Some of our other friends have asked when we are going to "get a replacement" for her. How can you replace a family member? You can't. It's a little infuriating when they say this to us. I want to scream, "It's only been 14 weeks, damn it! When are you going to get a replacement grandparent?!?!?!?" I know, not very nice, but, that's how it feels.
I keep wondering when I'll stop wondering where she is when I open the door when I get home. Sometimes I still go down our back hallway to let her in the back door and get half way down there before I remember. One night, Ed even called her to go to bed when we were shutting down the house for the night. That nearly killed him.
Today one of my former parents brought in their 11 week old yellow lab, Cassie to my classroom. She was so darn cute. It made me want another lab for about a minute. I can't get the memory of the day we took Jess to the vet out of my mind.
I am definitely not ready yet.
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