A New Job

I'm sitting at my computer working while my kids are working independently. I'd been sick for the first two days of the week with the flu and returned on Wednesday. I probably should have taken one more day, but it is such a hassle making sub plans that I decided to just tough it out and be at school. My nose was all plugged up so I took a big breath with my mouth. One of my students heard me and said:

Her: Mrs. C, are you feeling OK?
Me: No... I probably should have stayed home one more day with this awful cold.
Her: Maybe you can get a prostitute to come in for you this afternoon.
Me: (Shocked) A SUBSTITUTE????
Her: Oh. Yeah. A substitute.

Say What?!?!?

Said during a presentation on planets in my classroom today:

"My simile is: Uranus is as big as three Earths."

I'm thinking (while trying not to snort), "How many times do I have to tell you it's not 'urAnus'? It's 'YERunus'."

Ugh.