A New Beginning

I've made some pretty significant changes in my life since last June. I know, my dear Internets, I haven't been keeping up with the news like I should, but once you read on, you will see why. (I don't think I've EVER written a sentence with that many commas in it before. Huh.)

So, in June, I began taking online courses to get my masters in educational technology. Dumb? Possibly. However, the pay jump will be substantial. I will be able to pay myself back in one year and then any credits I take will move me on the pay scale. For those of you who don't know, teachers do get a small pay "raise" for every year of service worked, but what really gets them along on the pay scale is taking courses. Getting credits. That they have to pay for. Out of their own pocket. With money. AND, which is REQUIRED to keep your teaching certificate. This is a good thing and a bad thing. For brand new teachers, it's expensive to take classes when you are starting on a first year teacher's salary! My first year? I made $19,000. After five years of college and two degrees. I know, I know. I chose this profession. But, dang it, I work hard and during the school year, my kids see me more than their parents do sometimes.

OK. no more soap box.

So, Master's... So far it's been OK. We stacked two classes our first session (D.U.M.B.) But I'm glad now that we did. I was terrified to start. I hadn't been to school in 20 years! Would I be smart enough? Could I actually write a paper to show that I actually knew something? I can remember crying on the phone to Tina, "I don't think I can do this! I don't know what I was doing starting this!" "Write what you know. You got this." And the Husband, who has been AMAZING through my crazy, said, "Ya gotta get out of your own way, Ame. You got this." And you know what? I did. Most of the professors have been great, some of the classes have been sort of repeats of classes before and it's interesting interacting online with people from all across the country. Sometimes I will turn in an assignment thinking, "Oh, man. I threw that together. This is crap. There is NO way I will get full points for this assignment." And my score comes back? 30/30. It kind of makes me wonder what other people write and if they are getting full points for less work.

I am working hard. I am learning lots. I have 10 months to go and have a 4.0. I'm pretty proud of that.

All right... the next TWO big changes are Crossfit Within and Paleo. My sister began working out with Lena at the beginning of the summer and she was looking AMAZING. I'm not even kidding. She said, "Come and work out with us. You'll like it!" I was doing lots of Zumba at the time and loving that. I happened to meet a neat lady there (Heather) who said that she was working out with my sister and Lena as well. I decided to try it. Can you say HOOKED??? From the get go. Minute one. It's so not sissy... it's lifting weights. It's rolling HUGE truck tires for 400 meters. It's swinging a sledgehammer onto one of those tires. It's burpee after burpee after burpee. (Which I have come to love. I did 88 one day.) It's support. It's laughter. It's accountability at 6AM two mornings a week. It's friendship. It's taught me that I can absolutely do anything once I set my mind to it. The only thing that's getting in the way is me. (Hmmm... this is sounding familiar...)

Paleo...I never thought that I could eat in a manner that was healthy that makes me feel satisfied. I don't have cravings for things anymore. Food is a way to fuel my body and Paleo has taught me how to do it in a way that tastes good. Don't get me wrong. It was SO hard the first week. I started Crossfit Within and a month long Paleo challenge at the same time (as well as starting a new school year). Knowing that the challenge was coming, in August I started deleting things from my diet that were non Paleo hoping to make the transition more smooth. Dairy was the first thing. I started with that because I was the BIGGEST milk drinker you could imagine. I figured that would be my downfall. Then I went to bread and other grains. Week two was torture. I wanted everything and anything. And the crabbiness. WHOAH, the crabbiness.

 I am 100% Paleo now, 80% of the time. I have "treat" days once in a while. The problem is that my body does not tolerate those foods any longer. The heart burn comes back, the (sorry delicate readers) rumbly tummy, the headaches. I just can't do it. I know exactly when I do it too. It's almost immediate. The other thing that I noticed is how much I can't tolerate sweet stuff anymore. I normally have coconut milk in my coffee now and I hadn't realized one morning that I'd run out. I used some of the "sugar free" coffee creamer. My teeth felt... hairy. I can't think of another word to describe it. They almost hurt from the sweetness. And, just so you know, sugar free doesn't mean REALLY sugar free most of the time. Read labels, people.

I have SO far to go, but it's important to note how far I've come in only two months. I'm down 20 pounds. I normally don't use the scale, but sometimes it's a good gauge for where I am. Mostly I take measurements which I'll do again at the end of this month.  I sleep better. I FEEL better. Strong.

Lena is a great coach. She watches for any signs of improper form. Is always getting on my about my terrible posture (and rightfully so) but is SO encouraging. She holds me accountable. She listens and offers suggestions for modification when needed. She also doesn't let me pull the negative talk BS that I'm known for. I couldn't ask for a better person to help guide me on this path. And, those mornings when I'm laying in bed, having an anxiety attack about the WOD because I'm terrified that I'm going to let someone down, I get that text, "You coming?" or "Where are you?" and I go. And I'm always SO glad I did. I never regret it.

So. There it is. That's the reason I haven't been blogging... that I've sort of dropped off the face of the Earth. I'm here. I'm just taking some time to focus on me right now.

And, it's good.

The Return From Vacation

We just returned from Wallace... a quad riding vacation. We SO didn't want to come home. So much so that when I got up to open the bedroom window last night (because it was too warm), Ed sat up and said to me, "What the eff are you doing way over there?" And I was like, "What?" And he said, "Oh... I thought we were still in the camper."

Sigh. Back to reality.

Wordless Wednesday~ The Accidental Photographer

(I know, it's two days early, but I couldn't pass this one up... )

So, we spent last weekend at PIR (Portland International Raceway) in Portland (DUH) vintage motorcross racing. And, it's my job to be the photographer, what with my fancy camera and all. So, I'm snapping away just taking pictures of everything that I can figuring that I'll delete anything that is crap later. But, I got this one. Ha! This poor kid, standing outside of a nasty, smelly, SaniCan waiting for someone. And, let me tell you! It WAS smelly. It was 102 in the shade the day before and this day was a MUCH cooler 95. 

Wordless Wednesday~ Super Moon

Twilight Zone

This post is recycled from July 2010 after we purchased our truck and had to have some warranty work done on it. 

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the waiting room at Ford of Kirkland.


The large door was open. The blue suited man motions for me to pull forward. The sign says to honk, so I do. The blue suited man grimaces. I turn off the truck and jump out, slamming the door hard. I speak to the long haired lady who asks me to show her what needs to be fixed. She asks for a number to call when the repairs were made. I tell her that I'm waiting.

She looks perplexed. She tells me it might take at least 3 hours. I tell her I have a book and iced tea. I'll be fine.

I move to the waiting area. The door slams behind me like a jail cell in a prison. This is going to be my home for the next few hours. I need to make myself comfortable. There are already people waiting there, each in their own chair. Some texting on their cellular devices, some having private conversations loudly with unknown persons. Some reading the provided reading material on the small side table.

I settle in with my book and tea. People come and go. A small Chinese man named Mel Burke reads a Marie Claire magazine article on make-up. When he sees that I'm looking, he hastily tosses the magazine aside choosing instead "Car and Driver".

A Mexican grandmother comes with her granddaughters. They begin watching the TV... on the Disney channel no less. The Wizards of Waverly place drones on for what seems like hours. The daughter of the grandma comes and hustles everyone out of the waiting "lounge". On their way out, one of the girls tries to open the car door to the mustang inside the showroom and sets off the car alarm. The alarm scares us to death and the honking continues for what seemed like hours.

I listen to the Deli lady gossip with the workers of the dealership. I learn more than I want about many of the people who spend their days selling cars.

I find my eyes getting heavy. The Suite Life of Zach and Cody has it's hold on me. I can't keep my eye lids open.

I feel a touch on my arm. It's the long haired lady. My truck is finished. I jump up eager to be out of the clutches of this "waiting room". I feel as if it almost had me, but I escaped just in time.

Apologies

My Dear Internets,

It is with heartfelt apologies that I write this blog post today.  I realize that I haven't posted since MAY 10th and I am positive that you have all deserted me.  I do have an excuse, though. The end of the year and state testing and my MASTER'S PROGRAM. Yes, Internets. I actually started my master's in Educational Technology Leadership. What was I thinking you ask? Well, to be honest, I'm not sure. However, I am loving the learning and am very glad that I have two study partners taking it with me. I'm pretty sure that I would have dropped out the first week had it not been for them. So, thanks Teenie and JB.

Today I am catching up on all of the house cleaning I did NOT do in the last five weeks of taking two master's classes, finishing my teaching job and cleaning up my room for the end of the year. Yes. TWO classes and working full time. Crazy? What? ME? Yes, perhaps. But, now I have eight credits under my belt and having taken the two classes when I did will make taking only one class per term seem like a cake walk. What will I do with my free time?

Well... Blog of course!

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

A conversation between two of my students today at the end of the day:

Her: You know what? My mom told me that she’s the tooth fairy. That’s why the tooth fairy won’t take my tooth.


Him: REALLY?!?

Her: Yeah. AND in April, she told me that she’s the Easter Bunny, too. Sheesh. She sure is a lot of things that I didn’t know. But, she isn’t Santa. Santa’s REAL.

Him: Yeah! And they tell US not to lie! They say that we can’t lie but they lie about all kinds of stuff!

Her: Yeah… They DO lie about all kinds of stuff! But, Santa’s real.

Him: Yeah… Santa’s real.

Somebody That I Used to Know

This is my new favorite song.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know


Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know...

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

I used to know
That I used to know

Somebody...

Somebody That I Used to Know~ Gotye

For Teenie

Still I Rise

by Maya Angelou


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Wordless Wednesday~ Motorcycles

Something that I love to do. This is a trip on the North Cascades Highway last summer to Winthrop. One of my bucket list items to do last summer with my Better Half. My bike is on the right.

Guess this wasn't so wordless today.

Things I Learned in My First Zumba Class- RTT

So I took my first Zumba class at the gym last night. Here are some things I learned:

• When they say that it is a "shoes optional class", wear your shoes. Not only do my knees hurt like hell today from not wearing my shoes, but the bottoms of my feet were DISGUSTINGLY DIRTY when I got home. Gross.
• When I actually figure out what I'm doing, I think I'll be able to "rock it"  in the class (according to the instructor).
• The one man in the class can REALLY shake his money maker.
• No matter how much weight I lose, or how cute I look in the Zumba outfits, I will NEVER be able to move like the instructor. I am just not built that way.
• Hopping forward while shaking your chest is harder than it looks.
• The "bootie shake" is also harder than it looks.
• Randomly screaming "Woooooo!" in a high pitched voice is apparently a requirement to be in the class.
• Even though it doesn't feel like you are going to be sore the next day, YOU WILL BE. Advil or your choice of pain reliever is a must.
• It's actually a fun way to exercise.

Music Monday~ North Dakota

Although I am not a "country" music person, I LOVE Lyle Lovett. He's on my list of people to marry one day.

The boys from North Dakota
They drink whiskey for their fun
And the cowboys down in Texas
They polish up their guns
And they look across the border
To learn the ways of love

If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, say I do
If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, say I do
And you can say I love you
And you can say I do

So I drank myself some whiskey
And I dreamed I was a cowboy
And I rode across the border

If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, take my hand
If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, take my hand
And you can say I love you
And you can have my hand

I remember in the mornings
Waking up
With your arms around my head
You told me you can sleep forever
And I'll still hold you then

Now the weather's getting colder
It's even cold down here
And the words that you have told me
Hang frozen in the air
And sometimes I look right through them
As if they were not there

And the boys from North Dakota
They drink whiskey for their fun
And the cowboys down in Texas
They polish up their guns
And they look across the border
To learn the ways of love

Have a look here to see the video.
~Lyle Lovett- North Dakota

Too Crabby to Pee

This last week has been a long one. We just came off a four day "vacation" due to snow, ice and power outages the week before and started the new school week with a two hour late start. I like when we have late starts because I always get more done than when we have an early release. Not so Monday morning. All my co-workers came in to say hi and chat about the weather and the "vacation". I didn't get as much done as I would have liked, which started the week on a smallish crabby note.

As the week progressed, it kept getting worse and worse. I was SO tired in the afternoons, but couldn't sleep at night and was waking up between three and four AM. They kids were all out of whack from being gone unexpectedly for four days and it was a struggle to get them back on track.

Did I say that we were out of school unexpectedly for FOUR days????

There was a zero hour class to teach, an early staff meeting to attend and forty-seven thousand things to correct. I didn't even have time to pee.

I felt like I was getting sick with whatever yuk The Better Half got before embarking on a business trip to Ohio.

Not to mention fighting an allergic reaction to, of all things, laundry soap that caused an massive rash everywhere.

Needless to say, by Thursday, I was too crabby to pee.

Music Monday- Late

It seems that this is the story of my life lately. Not enough time to do anything let alone write. So, here's an installment of Music Monday on Friday... because that's the way my life is right now.

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every step I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking viper
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path is must we
just because the son has come.

Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done? (x2)

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we dream forever?
I just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but the past and done. (x2)

Why can't we not be sober?
I Just want to start this over.
Why can't we sleep forever?
I Just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave.

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust Me.

Why can't we not be sober?
I Just want to start things over.
Why can't we sleep forever?
I Just want to start this over.

I want what I want.
I want what I want.
I want what I want.
I want what I want.

~Sober: Tool