The Portal of Hell

I believe that the Hell Mouth visited my school district yesterday. I firmly believe that the Hell Mouth is able to switch positions at any given moment when things are going entirely too smoothly.

Yesterday was a full moon. We ALL know what happens during a full moon. Kids go crazy. It's a proven fact.

Our discipline referrals were up so our Eagle's Nest (Dean's office) was jam packed.

Kids were puking right and left keeping our custodian and Health Room assistant (we can't call her a nurse because she's not an RN) extremely busy. One kid actually puked on our Health Room assistant and her computer. She had to go home and change. Luckily she lives close.

It rained. It hailed. The sun shone down. The weather couldn't make a decision as to what it wanted to do. Do we do rainy day recess or don't we?

There was a car accident out in front of our school where an Escalade truck hit a power pole knocking out power to our school and our Central Services building. The power stayed off until WELL after school let out. Because the power was out, the traffic was awful out in front of our school, which sits on a small highway. This made our buses late getting to us.

Not to mention the fact that two other schools had a lock down at 3:30 (ten minutes before school let out) because many students reported seeing a "guy with a mask" wandering around in the woods outside the fence of the school. Apparently, a bank nearby had been robbed and the police thought it could have been the robber hiding. So, both the middle school and elementary school near there were put on lock down. Until 5:00 PM. Ugh.

Because the schools were on lock down, some of the buses that were supposed to pick up our kids could not make it here because, duh, lock down procedures state that everyone must be locked in the building. Which meant that the students on route 30 was stuck here. I took the 3rd-5th grade riders into my room and some other teachers took the K-2nd grade riders to the library. We couldn't notify parents because our power was out and therefore, had no phone service. Finally, the wonderful bus driver of route 36 took mercy upon us and volunteered to take the kids from route 30 home. By this time, it was 4:30. School had been out almost an hour. I'm sure parents were frantic.

However, this left the poor high school, junior high and middle school kids who ride transfer buses in the lurch because there was no bus to take them home. When I left at 4:45, they were still out in our bus lane trying to figure out what to do with those kids.

I certainly hope that the Hell Mouth decides to invoke it's wrath somewhere else for a while. I think we've had our fill.

Music Monday

Heart's Dreamboat Annie was the first record I ever bought. I REALLY wanted the album with Barracuda but, I got a gift certificate for Gary'sTV at the helicopter drop at our town's annual festival. And, he didn't have it. I was like 6. I still have it.

So this ain't the end- I saw you again - today
I had to turn my heart away
You smiled like the sun- kisses for everyone
And tales- it never fails!

You're lying so low in the weeds
I bet you're gonna ambush me
You'd have me down, down, down, down on my knees
Now wouldn't you, barracuda?

OH!

Back over time when we were all trying for free
You met the porpoise and me
No right, no wrong, you're selling a song- a name
Whisper game

And if the real thing don't do the trick
You better make up something quick
You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn it to the wick
Ooooh, barracuda!

OH!

'Sell me sell you' the porpoise said
Dive down deep down, deeper than
You.. I think that you got the blues too

All that night and all the next
Swam without looking back
Made for the western pools- silly, silly fools!

The real thing don't do the trick, no?
You better make up something quick
You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn it to the wick
Ahh, barra- barracuda!

~Barracuda, Heart


While I like the original WAY better, this will have to do. The original videos aren't great.

Photo credit

A Single Man

Ed and I decided to thatch our yard. This was going to be a GIANT undertaking because:

1. we have a super humongous yard
2. the moss was almost growing faster and thicker than the grass
3. we hadn't thatched for probably six years.

Ed rented a thatcher from the local rental place and spent Saturday thatching the yard. On Sunday, the ginormous task of taking up the moss would have to begin. Our neighbor down the hill has this new-fangled invention called a "sweeper". This sweeper hooks to the back of your lawn mower and as you pull, these large brushes "sweep" the lawn and pick up whatever might be lying there. (Think carpet sweeper for your lawn.) Ed was able to borrow Patrick's sweeper and he chose the job of sweeping up the moss.

Once the sweeper was full, he'd make a circle back to me, who had the garden cart hitched to Rosie (my quad). He would pull the rope that Pat had attached to the top of the sweeper and dump the moss into a large pile. I was then to shovel it up into the garden cart and, once full, drive Rosie and the cart up to the compost pile/blackberry bushes to dump. My garden cart holds 10 cubic feet. I stopped counting loads at 20. That's A LOT of moss, yo.

Towards the end of our seven hour day, (oh, yes, it took SEVEN hours to clean that mess up) Gavin the six-year-old neighbor boy came over to chat with me. Gavin is a really funny kid. His brother is quite a bit older, so I think that he's really lonely, because, hey, he wants to come and talk with me! He asked if he could help to which I responded, "Of course!" and gave him the rake to keep the piles Ed was making neat for me.

As we were working, we got on the subject of growing up.

Gavin: When I grow up, I'm going to be a single man.

Me: You don't want to have a wife or family at all?

Gavin: Nope!

Me: Why not?

Gavin: Because all my wife will do is yell at me to take her to the store. That's all my mom says to my dad. 'Take me to the store' (Gavin's mom doesn't drive due to medication she takes for diabetes)

Me: Well, won't you be lonely?

Gavin: Nope. I'm going to have a house and furniture and all that stuff.

Me: What kind of job do you think you want to do as a single man?

Gavin: Oh, I'm not going to have a job when I grow up. I'm not going to work.

Me: Well, how do you think you're going to buy your house, furniture and food and stuff?

Gavin: Oh. Well, maybe I will have a job. But no wife. I'll be a single man with a job and a house and furniture and stuff. Maybe I'll work with my dad. We can have a job together. Like a company. And I won't have to take my wife to the store.

Such innocence. What he doesn't know yet is that someday, girls will come before job, school and everything.

No, Officer. I'm NOT Using My Cell Phone While Driving

Last Thursday, I had a TON of errands to run. Ed and I were getting ready to go to the ocean to celebrate a friend's birthday. After school, I made my way to Issaquah to pick up cat food, go to Weight Watchers, hit Costco and go grocery shopping.

After picking up the cat food, I was sitting at a light reading a text message from one of the boys who were in Reno for five days on union business. (Right. "Union business" in Reno for five days and the boys don't "go" together!) They were giving me a hard time because they were there have a GREAT time while knowing I would have to sit in a meeting all day the next day. I happened to look in my rear-view mirror and spotted a motorcycle cop sitting behind me.

Crap.

We now have a law in Washington that says that we can't use our cell phones without a hands free device and it's a primary offense. I carefully stow my cell phone in my purse thinking that if he saw me, I could say, "No, officer. I wasn't using my cell phone. See? It's stowed safely away in my purse!"

The light turns green and I make my left hand turn praying to God that he's not going to pull me over at his first convenience. As I'm turning, I hear this horribly loud honking noise. It's the horn of the motorcycle cop's motorcycle. I'm in a dead panic. He's going to pull me over. I look in my mirror to see which way he's signaling me to move. Only, he's NOT pulling ME over.

At this light, there is a left hand turn lane going north and a free right hand turn going south. Each can go at the same time. The cars just can't cross the rumble strip that separates the lanes until a few hundred yards after the turn. Safety, yo.

Here's what happened. A GIANT, black Suburban was making a right as we were making the left. He ( And I KNOW it was a "he") crossed the rumble strip not even looking OR signaling and merged right into the motorcycle cop nearly crashing him into the median strip. Granted, the cop WAS in his blind spot, but that's the reason the rumble strip is there. So people don't merge and cause accidents. The cop was blaring his horn at this guy, not me. Whew.

I felt kind of bad for the giant, black Suburban guy. He really didn't see the cop. I'm sure he got an ass chewing and a hefty ticket. (While I went on my own merry way, scott free!)

Tuesday Tunage

Some new A.I.C. for your listening pleasure...
And it IS your decision. What you say, what you do. Everything. Think about it.

Time to change has come and gone
Watched your fears become your god

it's your decision

overwhelmed you chose to run
apathetic to the stunned

it's your decision

you feed the fire that burned us all
when you lied

to feel the pain that spurred you on
black inside

no one plans to take the path that brings you lower
and here you stand before us all and say its over
it's over

it might seem an afterthought
yes it hurts to know you're bought

it's your decision

you feed the fire that burned us all
when you lied
to feel the pain that spurs you on
black inside

it's your decision

no one plans to take the path that brings you lower
and here you stand before us all and say its over
its over

~Your Decision- Alice in Chains

YouTube won't let me embed the video so click here to see it.

Say What?!?!?

Said during a presentation on planets in my classroom today:

"My simile is: Uranus is as big as three Earths."

I'm thinking (while trying not to snort), "How many times do I have to tell you it's not 'urAnus'? It's 'YERunus'."

Ugh.

Music Monday

I LOVE this band. Nuff said. Caleb Followill is SERIOUSLY hot with that voice of his...

Stranded in this spooky town,
Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down
Snow is crackling cold,
She took my heart, I think she took my soul
With the moon I run,
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun

Drivin' by the strangle of vain
Showin' no mercy I'll do it again
Open up your eyes
You keep on crying, baby I'll bleed you dry
Skies are beneath me
I see a storm bubbling up from the sea

And it's coming closer [2x]

You sh-sh-shock my bones,
Leavin' me stranded all in love on my own
What do you think of me?
Where am I now, baby where do I sleep?
Feels so good when I'm home
2000 years of chasing takin' it's toll

And it's coming closer [4x]

~ Closer- Kings Of Leon